Understanding
by Chi121
Summary: An overdue talk between older Cyclops and young Jean Grey, set after BotA and from Scott's PoV. Please R&R.


Jean was a dream.

A dream where I believed, together, we could fulfil Xavier's ideal of peace between mutants and humans.

Since her death, it had become increasingly clear that the world was not that kind and such things are not that easy to achieve. Which was saying something considering how hard it was to begin with.

That day I saw her again, the dream came back to life. For a moment.

In that moment I remembered what it was like back then. How simple things were and how beautiful she was. Then that moment passed by and then I realised how things have changed.

Weeks went by. The conflict between mutants became worse and amazingly complicated. Logan, he didn't see eye to eye with me. Still, what he did at the school was needed. For now.

Suddenly I was confronted by her. Not the child, but her, except she wasn't my Jean. We both knew it, I just didn't want to admit it.

Yet this woman who had the same name; she was the mirror everyone kept insisting I needed.

She was the future and in this future, I was a man not worthy of her love. Regardless of her actions, she was innocent when she came to this time. Tainted by her experiences, it was clear that I did nothing to save her from becoming what was in front of me.

I thought I had moved on from Jean, but the truth was I was able to because I believed I was still the man she thought I was. A distorted thought, but nonetheless...

It wasn't easy to change. I had people who needed me and people after me. I was still seen as the murderer of Charles Xavier. Hell, I am a murderer and like Jean once did, I must atone for my actions.

When the younger Jean called for me, I saw hope. When she stayed, I saw another possibility,

While I could, I watched over them. There was my younger self, still awkward and filled with such ideals. It was painful to say the least. Jean was closed off, she had done things that shocked me. I had done things that shocked me. Teen Jean and I suddenly became more confusing.

As the triplets still had ties with Emma, I couldn't risk using them to figure out why Jean was acting so strangely. Things with Emma were complicated enough. If I wanted to know what was wrong with her I'd have to ask, but when she saw me there was so much rage. I could feel her trying to get into my mind. It hurt to close off my thoughts as this feeling was so familiar and so much like what home use to be.

"What do you want?"

"It seems you don't like...other me. I know him pretty well and figured I should vouch for him. I know you Jean. Maybe better than you know yourself."

"Hah, that's rich. The truth is I don't like you. I saw into the future. Sure, we got married, but then you're with silver boobs McGee. Sure, you believed in Xavier, but now he's dead by your hand. Sure, we have "family" together, but the family I know and love is dead and where were you when it happened!? In her arms perhaps? Honestly, considering all that happens, I have no idea why future me tried so hard for you. She never gave up on you and suffered for that. I will not make the same mistake."

What could I say? I had spent so many years trying to justify my actions, yet this confrontation with my first love...Everyone was right, I had reverted to the young boy I always seemed to be with her and I just didn't have it in me to argue with her. I was tired of that.

"What should I do Jean?"

I wasn't asking the girl next to me, but my wife. She wouldn't answer. She couldn't.

"How did it come to this? Tell me."

Beside me I thought was the young, inexperienced Jean from the past, but those eyes, they were beyond her years.

"Read my mind, and tell me where I went wrong."

Letting down all barriers, I felt her in my mind. It was warm and gentle. I could tell she was taking care to not hurt me.

And then it was gone.

Instead I felt a hand on my back. Hesitant, but reassuring.

"We live eventful lives, don't we Mr. Summers? As we continue to fight to reach that light, to become equals amongst the humans, we take every little bit of happiness for what it's worth. I can't hate you, but I'm not sure what to do either. I don't wanna lose to fate, I don't want to die again."

I was conflicted. The fact was she was out of her time. The fact was she had died to save us. The fact was...there was someone right next to me who needed my help.

"Jean, until you are able to return to your time, I will do everything in my power to protect you."

She gave me a weak smile and looked into the distance.

"Strange, I can feel their presence." She said.

"Whose?"

"Rachel Grey and the one they call Cable, and...you, all in my mind."

"Family ties are a strange, but powerful thing. A time displaced mother with time displaced children. I don't even think that's the strangest thing to happen to us so far..."

Jean responded to my pathetic attempt at humour with an abrupt chuckle, then sighed, "Cable isn't mine though...I saw in your mind, but could you tell me about them, about me a bit more? I think maybe I should try to focus on the positives."

"Well, first and foremost, you are Nathan's mother. You cared for him with all your heart for so many years and treated him no different to a real son. I also doubt he'd disagree. Secondly, you have a daughter that loved you so much, she took your name and everyday I see how she tries to do the Grey family proud. I know you have yet to really experience all this, but our children are my greatest source of pride. As are you."

"B-but we..."

I knew what she was going to mention next. I spent ages imagining this conversation in my head, it was time to actually explain myself.

"Things were dark then. I could make up various excuses, with Apocalypse, Wolverine...but it just doesn't justify what I did in the end, especially to you now. I wronged my wife, I was prepared to leave everything, but I felt something pushed me to continue, with Emma and the School. I'll be honest, I loved Emma and she has gotten me through dark times, but after what happened with the Dark Phoenix, I'll doubt that relationship will ever be the same. Still, regardless of all that I never forgot about Jean. She will always be my wife and the person who knows me best."

"I can tell, all this is true...I know that you love me. This sounds strange, but I see it in your eyes and your younger self everyday. I want to move forward and be happy together, except I get reminded of what that leads to and then I hesitate."

"You are Jean Grey. The strongest person I know and there's no one in this entire universe that can tell you want to do. You do what feels right to you and even if my younger self doesn't receive your love, it's only because I wasn't worthy of it."

Her small smile became wider as I spoke, "Thank you...Scott. I needed this so much, and while I'm not sure if I'm ready to be in a relationship right now, considering who he grows up to be, I think Scott Summers might have a good chance after all."

As she walked back to the building, I watched and thought about what I had just said. She was strong, even now, at such a young age, she was still the Jean Grey I loved so.

Turning my head to the sky, I sensed something familiar. A voice that I recognised instantly came into my mind and said, "I love you too."

While things may be hard now, I was reminded that there was always hope.


End file.
